Feb. 26th, 2009

seethingheathen: (chavopoly)
I have comments to reply to, and I will, I promise. But first, I need to get this off my chest before I explode.

Dear Customer,

You are not as knowledgeable as you think you are. You come in every day, spouting off random bits of nonsense, and I DON'T CARE. I'm sorry my red t-shirt with the AK-47 on it reminds you of your time spent fighting with the Russians during the Cold War (?). I get that you've done everything there is to do, and know everything there is to know, but all I hear when you speak is HI I'M CLIFF CLAVIN, HURR DURR.

I will commend you on the way you tried to save face when you told me that you were full of je ne sais quoi, and I said that joie de vivre was probably the term you were looking for. I'm glad you can butcher phrases in several languages; I can too! And no, I don't speak French, but I can recognise a string of nonsense words when I hear them. Your sentence, as far as I could tell, amounted to 'no smoking wash your hands black cat'. I guess laughing was the wrong (or right, actually) thing to do, because I've been spared most of your bullshit for the last two days. At least you were creative, I'll give you that. None of that voulez-vous coucher avec moi crap from you. And your face when I said 'Atah rotzeh ugat tapuchim? (would you like some apple cake?') was priceless. Nonsense, in context, but point proven. See, I can mangle languages with the best of 'em. I'm sorry I knew a phrase you didn't, in a language you didn't, and it caused your butt to ache.

PLEASE, go die in a fire. If you don't do it on your own, I may be forced to assist you.


seethingheathen: (Default)

May 2009

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