seethingheathen: (death for breakfast)
[personal profile] seethingheathen
Stolen from [ profile] medraxellion.

Go to, type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the definition it gives you.

1.) Your name.
A beautiful, sexy, bootylicious female. She is worshipped by many & has been the cause of many huge cult followings in the early 1990's. Sonja's usually keep a low profile, so consider it a rare and special event to be blessed by her presence.

It's a Sonja day, I'm gonna buy myself a lotto ticket!

That ass is perfect, just like Sonja.

2.) Your age.
The age at which most women stop aging (or so they say!).

When I turn 29, I'll be the age I'm going to be for the rest of my life.

A child asks his grandma, "How old are you?"
Her reply, "29."

3.) One of your friends' names.
[V]ery nice person, warm and welcoming.

[E]veryone wanted to hang around Jonathan at the party.

4.) Your middle name.
Completely amazing, in all ways, shapes and forms.
Also known as absolutely stunning.

Fredrick Von Godrick: WOW. Did you see that girl?
Duderob: Well, she wasn't nearly a Kirsten.

5.) Your favourite colour.
Orange (this week).
The colour which vain assholes turn after a session in the tanning salon; Often confused with Hepatitis.

"Hey, nice tan... in the middle of winter, you sick fucking pumpkin monster."

6.) Your hometown.
Stoke-on-Trent (for the first seven months of my life).
City in central England that is home to the most violent and hardened football fans in the country. Everyone that comes to Stoke should cower in fear. Officially the worst city in England and in the worst county Staffordshire. Anyone who doesn't like the place can fuck off back up their arseholes where they crawled out of and give up on being a stuck up cunt. Oh Stoke-On-Trent, is wonderful, Oh Stoke-On-Trent is WONDERFUL.
P.S. And its home to the Staffordshire Oatcake!!!! The most delightful snack available!!!!

'Ay up Duck'

'Fancy an Oatcake?'

'Aye Duck'

7.) Your birth month.
A month when mostly the hottest girls are born.

That girls so hot she must be born in July.

8.) The last person you spoke with on the phone.
My mum.
A word [A]mericans don't know how to spell.

Also townies use the phrase 'your mum' as an insult.

me: fuck off
Townie: your mum

9.) One of your pets' names.
Mispelling of guinea, derogatory slang for Italian.

"Go 'head, now I'll kill you. You guinea brat you."
- Carlo in The Godfather

10.) Your job.
Assistant Manager.
[O]ne who does all the crap other people won't and listens to all the bitchin from both sides.

The assistant manager will do it.
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May 2009

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