Profile

'Oh, fucksocks, Countess, cowboy the fuck up, would you?' is a quote from Christopher Moore's You Suck. Mr Moore is made of 100% Grade A Awesome, so if you haven't read anything he's written, you are truly missing out. My username comes from the afterword of another of his books, Lamb.

But enough about that. You're here to find out what I'm made of (I'm a 60-40 blend of Annoyance and Grade C Amusement) because I posted something somewhere that roused a tiny bit of interest. Why else do people look at these profile things? To add to their colour bar and blinkie collections? Probably.

I'm Sonja, and I am, amongst other things, an aspiring author. I only ever post fanfiction, but I have some original stuff that I keep private. Fucking up someone else's hard work is a hell of a lot easier than coming up with my own shit, let me tell you. Okay, that's not entirely true, but fandom tends to be more forgiving than the world at large. Unless you accidentally use the wrong form of their, and then fandom will draw and quarter you, and then hang your detached body parts from the four corners of the internet, with your head at dead centre for target practise.

I'm English, as you may have guessed, but I live in Colorado. I've been here many times over the last five or six years, but two years ago, I was (finally) granted a work visa. I, er, teach English to Nepali immigrants, except when I don't. Which is always. I always do not teach English to anyone. When I'm busy not doing that, I'm the assistant manager at a small grocery. I work for the people to whom I do not teach English. Here, have an aspirin.

I like to read. I don't read Literature with a capital L; I like to keep things on the light side, though I do enjoy an occasional flip-through of Rob Roy, just to keep my brains from turning to goo and running out my ears. Did I use that semi-colon properly? I'm sure someone from the Grammar Brigade will notify me if I did not. I'm already on their shit list for flagrant comma abuse, so I have to tread lightly.

Add me if you wish, and I'll probably add you back. Unless of course, you torture the English language more grievously than I do. Even then, I'll probably add you for the lulz (as the kids say).