Ahem.

Send me an IM.

I won't respond.

I will, however, get upset that no one is IMing me.

Edit:
FUCKING FUCK. JUST. JESUS CHRIST.

Edit the Second:
COR-FUCKING-BLIMEY.

Edit the Third:
I'm a little teapot,
short and stout.
Here is my handle,
here is my spout.
When I get all steamed up,
hear me shout,
"Tip me over, and pour me out!"

Fuck.

My fucking inner fucking child is fucking three fucking years old today.

Go me.

Suppose a person paints a sign. The sign reads, 'Do Not Read This Sign, Upon Penalty of Death.' Don't you have to read the sign to know that you're not supposed to be reading it? And, if someone were to ask you whether or not you've read the sign, what do you say? If you say no, you're fucked, because someone could assume that the reason you didn't read the sign is because that's what the sign instructed you not to do. So you die. If you say yes, then it is quite obvious you've read it, which is clearly against the law, so you die.

Think about it. What do you do?