Conduct unbecoming.

First, a funny story about my mum. I stay up late (very late), so sometimes she will phone in the morning (in England). When she phoned this morning and asked if I'd found gainful employment, I lied and said I start working at Burger King on Monday. I thought she was going to climb through the phone and strangle me! I love my mum to bits, but she's so classist it's hilarious. When I told her I had applied for a job at Wal-Mart, she nearly pissed herself with disgust. I love to wind her up.

Anyway, when I said I was going to BK, she threatened to come over here and forcibly escort me home. Apparently paying your adult kid's rent and bills is far better than having that kid flip burgers for a living. I know this and I exploit it like you would not believe. I told her I needed more money and that's why I was doing it, so guess what? My weekly 'allowance' has been increased. I'm not lazy, I'm really not. I just have better things to do at the moment than actually work. Unless I get the Verizon job. I want that one. It pays well, and I won't have to wear a wanky uniform.

And before you get your knickers in a twist, I have nothing but respect for the working class. I do, really. There's no shame at all in working at BK or Wal-Mart. My first-ever job was at McDonalds, more than a decade ago, so yeah. Anyway.

Second, a question. How is it possible to go through life not knowing how to spell 'toilet' and 'bald'?