Are You Fucking Mental?

First, I want to thank butterfly269200 for the lovely flaming bag of poo! And then I want to tell you about the WTF moment I had with my housemate earlier.

There was really nothing on telly, so I turned on the On Demand channel and found Matilda. A few minutes into it, my housemate wandered into the lounge. We sat there, ate pizza, and watched the film, because that's how awesome people like us spend our Saturday nights. Anyway, when we got to the bit where Matilda makes everything fly about the room, he turned to me and the following conversation took place.

Him: Can you do that?
Me: Can who do what?
Him: You're the only other person in here besides me.
Me: Are you asking me if I can make things fly about the room?
Him: Well, yeah. I mean, can you?
Me: Are you serious? Are you seriously asking me if I have magical powers?
Him: Well, I don't know what you do when you're alone, and you just seem like the kind of person who would do something like that.
Me: Well, I can't.
Him: Oh. You just seem like you might be able to.

This is a forty-year-old man who is asking me this, mind you. He doesn't read books or watch anything on telly but news programmes and the occasional western, so I have no fucking clue where this came from. It was one of the oddest conversations I've ever had.

ALSO: Please be on the lookout for a very special announcement that will be coming shortly.