Fic! Orlijah! NC-17! 1/2.

[seethingheathen]

Title: -Untitled- 1/2
Author: limeysugar.
Feedback: If you want.
Pairing: Orlijah, hint of Domorli.
Rating: NC-17.
Disclaimer: Untrue. Damn. Although, I'd like to believe Orlando's just as tarty IRL as he is in my head.
Notes: Pervy food usage. Or, as some like to refer to it: Arsefood. Heh. Or not. Read and see.
Notes, Part Deux: Listened to Dust Me Selecta on repeat for this one. It sort of made me think of a porn soundtrack. vestalvagrant is rubbing off on me. God help us all.



Elijah and Orlando were slowly making their way through the fruits-and-vegetables section of the supermarket, when Orlando started to laugh.

"What?"

"Nothing, mate. Really," Orlando responded, shaking his head. "I was just thinking."

"That alone is worthy of a gold star."

"Fine. I won't tell you."

"Like I really care."

Hardly two minutes had passed, however, before Elijah couldn't stand not knowing what was on Orlando's mind.

"Alright," Orlando sighed, over-dramatically, and leant in to whisper in Elijah's ear. "See those cucumbers over there?" Elijah nodded, skin tingling from the warm sensation of Orlando's breath. "I was just wondering how it would feel to be fucked by something that big."

"Don't let Dom hear you say that," Elijah managed. "He'd be offended."

"I know. That's why I'm not telling him. I'm telling you."

Every drop of blood in Elijah's body flowed straight to his cock. "Fuck, Orli," he breathed.

"Yes, exactly."

"Cucumber, then?"

"Yeah. And one of those carrots." Orlando gestured to another bin. "Just for fun."

---

"This is going to be so fucking hot," Elijah said as he and Orlando walked up the footpath to Orlando's front door. "Sort of brings a whole new meaning to 'tossing salad.'"

"No kidding, eh? So, I guess the sooner we get in there and get the real groceries put away, the sooner we can get to it."

"We can always put them away later."

"True." Orlando turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open. He and Elijah carried their purchases into the kitchen, and then Orlando went to the bathroom to get the bottle of ID Glide and a couple of condoms.

Elijah set the bag of groceries on the worktop and jumped up to sit next to it. From the bag, he pulled the cucumber and the carrot. He vaguely wondered whether or not the clerk had thought anything funny about them buying just one of each before his mind drifted to other thoughts. Thoughts of Orlando lying on his bed with the carrot being pushed into him, thoughts of Orlando coming as Elijah fucked him with it. He must have been thinking very hard, because he almost didn't hear Orlando talking to him.

"Hello? Elijah?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry," Elijah grinned. "Just working out some details in my head."

"Well, stop that, and come work them out on me," Orlando said, holding up the bottle of lube and shaking it.

Elijah jumped down off the worktop, grabbed the carrot and the cucumber, and followed Orlando to the bedroom.

---

"How do you want to do this?"

"What do you mean? We get naked, we fuck, we shower, we watch the DVD we rented, the sun goes down, the moon comes up-"

"Funny, Orli."

"Well, it was a stupid question," Orlando said, pulling his shirt over his head. "I thought you had the details sorted."

"Yeah, well."

"Shut it and strip, before I rip your fucking clothes off."

Elijah didn't have to be told twice, although the thought of Orlando forcibly removing his clothes did hold some appeal. If he hadn't have been wearing his favourite StarWars tee, he would have let him.

"Jesus Christ," Elijah whispered when Orlando stood in front of him, completely nude. If it were possible for his cock to get any harder, it would have. "Just, Jesus, Orli."

---

Elijah sat on the edge of the bed and Orlando knelt on the floor in front of him, his arms resting on Elijah's legs and his right hand wrapped around Elijah's cock, lazily sliding up and down the length of it.

"I'd blow you, but I don't want you to come just yet," Orlando teased. "You're going to come fucking my arse."

"Then get it up on the bed so I can."

Orlando got on the bed and lay on his back with his knees up and his legs spread. Elijah scooted up between them with the lube and a condom and a grin on his face. He squirted some of the lube on his fingers and smeared it around Orlando's arsehole before pushing his thumb inside.

"Mmm, yeah," Orlando moaned as Elijah worked his thumb in and out. "God, I fucking want you. I want you to fuck me so fucking bad."

Something suddenly occurred to Elijah. Orlando had never so much as made an advance on him, yet here they were, naked and about to have sex. They hadn't even kissed. And Orlando had a boyfriend.

"Why?"

"Why what?" Orlando raised his head to look at Elijah, who had stopped what he was doing and sat still on the bed.

"Why do you want me all of a sudden? I just think it's weird."

"Who said it was 'all of a sudden?'" Orlando looked annoyed. "Don't stop, Lijah. Come on."

"No, really. I want to know."

"If I tell you, will you fucking do me already?"

"Depends," Elijah sighed. "If the reason is good enough. I mean shit, Dom's my friend, and here I am about to stick vegetables up his boyfriend's ass." Elijah couldn't help but laugh at little at that. "Okay, yeah. That sounded funny, but I'm serious. What the fuck? You've never even flirted with me before."

"This isn't doing anything for the mood, you know." Orlando sat up and crossed his legs Indian-style. "Why do I have to have a reason for wanting you? I just do."

"What about Dom? Aren't you in love with him or something?"

"Get dressed." Orlando slid to the edge of the bed and put his feet on the floor. "And go home. This was a stupid idea."

To Be Continued.