seethingheathen | Walker Legacy, Generation 1.0: How Not To Get Laid at Uni (Reply)

WARNING: Contains censored pixelsmut and nudity.

This is my first posted legacy. I usually don't have the patience to play a family beyond two or three generations, so we'll see what happens. Oh, and I'm a dumbfuck who saved the images as gifs rather than jpegs, so you'll have to bear with the slight pixelisation. I'll remember for next time.

There are twenty-seven 600x450 images behind the cut, so if you're on dial-up, you probably may want to go make yourself a cup of tea.

Meet the founder, Derek Walker. He is a Knowledge Sim, with Grilled Cheese as a secondary aspiration. As you can see from his stats, he's a bit of a neat freak who hates other Sims. How this is going to ensure a second generation of Walkers, I don't know, but only time will tell.

He lives in Barclay and attends Academie le Tour as a Literature Major. I decided to start this legacy the way a lot of real people start their adult lives- by finishing university and then stepping out into the big, wide world. Let's hope he finds his ~~womb~~ One True Love here. If asocial Sims with anger issues even have a One True Love.

People go to university to learn, and it looks like Derek is about to learn a very valuable lesson: if there are green fumes coming from the food, it's probably gone off.

Derek: Oh, I'm sure it's fine! I've got an iron stomach!

Okay, Derek. Whatever you say.

What did I tell you?

Derek: It's motion sickness from the cab ride here. That's all. Motion sickness.

Does motion sickness usually last three days?

Derek: Okay, okay. No more green food. Christ, can't a fellow have some privacy?

I felt sort of bad for nagging him so much that I sent him into Barclay to have a bit of fun and to try and meet some girls. He met one- Alice Cooper- but they didn't really hit it off. I'll have to keep trying, I suppose, since she is sort of pretty.

She was going to be my legacy, but she was too boring. Maybe she'll make a good match for Derek if they can get on.

So much for that. She phoned him the next day, and most of the conversation consisted of Derek making faces and waving his arms. All he wanted was to impregnate her. Why does she have to make things so difficult?

The lunch lady, Derek? Really?

Derek: I have needs!

But the lunch lady? She's old enough to be your grandmother! There's no way you're getting a baby from that!

Derek: I know that, you moron! But I'm still a virgin, thanks to your failed match-making. I'm thinking I could use Solvieg here for practise.

Clever boy.

What do you suppose the censor-cats are thinking?

Censor-cats: If we had eyes, we'd be clawing them out.

Derek: I am the man.

I hope she doesn't burn herself. Is that even sanitary?

Dormie: Excuse me, WTF are you doing?

Derek: I just lost my virginity! Wheeee!

Dormie: Pfft, yeah. To the lunch lady.

The girls in the dorm are too ugly for Derek, so I sent him out to the coffee shop in search of some quality tail.

Much to my chagrin (and Derek's, I'm sure), the only female in the entire place looked as though she'd been bashed in the face with a frying pan. Repeatedly.

Oops. I forgot to fix the roof when I edited the lot. Fail.

No, Derek! Not the ugly dormies! I made a girl for you, damnit.

Derek: The heart wants what it wants.

Somehow, I don't think your heart has much to do with it.

Derek: Maybe if I practise kissing in the mirror, my dream girl will love me.

Or, she'll think you're a freak.

Not to be deterred, Derek spent the next few days working out. Sort of.

I think his confidence got the better of him, because as soon as he came home, he hit on this ~~thing~~ girl. I want pretty babies, damnit. Not some EAxis-created montrosity! At least she turned him down.

So this is what happens when you tip the maid §100. Huh. I guess it's an upgrade from the lunch lady, so I shouldn't complain too loudly.

Derek finally got his chance to impress the girl he's been admiring from afar. Good luck, mate.

It worked! Thanks, ACR! Er, you two do realise it's snowing, right? Hello?

Finally! Some woo-hoo that doesn't involve the hired help and misspent scholarship money!

This calls for a naked hula in the cantina.

I hate to burst your happy bubble, Derek, but if you want to graduate with honours, you had better get cracking.

Derek: I still have a term paper to write! Damnit!

Three hours until his final Senior exam, and the boy is pulling an all-nighter. A true Knowledge Sim after all.

Derek graduated Magna Cum Laude, so the threw himself a party. All anyone did was ~~hit the hookah~~ blow bubbles, so the party was a Snoozer. Ah, well. I don't think he cared.