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seethingheathen
WARNING: Contains adult language and questionable parenting. Life is definitely changing for the better in the Walker home, but will it stay that way, or will things take a turn for the worse? Dial-up users, please note that there are thirty-one images behind the cut. |
 Meet Cameron Walker. He has Derek's skin colouring and Alice's hair and eyes. I was so hoping for a ginger baby!  After feeding him, Derek promptly placed Cam on the floor next to his bottle and let them both rot. Nice.  Something about this situation just isn't right.  You would think that of all people, an experienced nanny would know that green funk coming from a baby's nappy does not mean the baby is hungry. It means you should worry about what's coming out of the kid before trying to stuff more in.  These living conditions are deplorable!  The nanny handed Cam to Alice, and then sat down to watch a bit of telly. Seriously, what are they paying this woman? Whatever it is should be cut in half! No wonder there are rotten bottles cluttering up the kitchen!  I would think there would be more blood involved here.  Remind me never to accept a dinner invite from the Walkers.  Something's rotten in the state of Barclay. I'm surprised the Social Worker hasn't paid a visit, because this is the way things are more often than not. If I don't tell them to put poor Cam in his cot, they leave him lying anywhere they can. And the bottles? So much for high neatness points.  Alice is pregnant again! She can't even take care of the one she's got, even with the help of her husband and the nanny, so I have no hope for this situation.  Derek and Alice have managed to save quite a bit, thanks to several promotions. I sold off the furniture and moved them into a house. A real house!  I forgot to put in a kitchen sink. Oops.  For every scene like this and the one before...  ...there are ten like this. Alice put Cam on the floor and went to bed. No maternal instinct + energy desperation = parenting fail.  Thank goodness Cam 'sploded. Who knows what else he would have had to endure at the hands of his 'caretakers'.  Not a bad looking kid.  Alice: You know, Derek, some people actually cook breakfasty things for breakfast. Like, you know, eggs. Derek: The hell you say!  Cam's going to be a pretty smart kid, I think. He spends all his time building Logic and Creativity skills.  Excellent fathering.  If your child isn't learning to walk fast enough, shove him through a light fixture.  They don't even need a maid. Derek and the nanny do all the cleaning.  One step closer to fulfilling Derek's LTW! Now that he's bringing in more than ยง1000 a day, it's time to start thinking about expanding the house.  But no matter how hard he works, Derek still has time for the important things.  Most of the time. He was passed the fuck out when Alice went into labour.  This is Tamsin. She looks remarkably like her brother, in that generic baby sort of way. Still no ginger kid though.  Yes, the nanny wet herself whilst standing directly in front of the toilet. She was trying to shoo Alice, but since the room is so small, she was blocking the door. Alice was waving her arms because she was trapped, the nanny was waving hers because she needed a wee, but she wouldn't move out of the way. At least she mopped it up after.  Finally doing that whole mother thing, eh?  I have a feeling that this is going to end badly.  And I was right. This is why I generally ignore chance cards. Though I do suspect that Derek rather enjoyed being covered in all that cheese.  He just looks so dejected! It's okay, Derek. It happens to the best of us.  I guess the addition will just have to wait. And so will you! |
