AO - What the HELL? - Chapter One.

[seethingheathen]

Title: AO- What the HELL?
Author: Sonja.
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: NC-17.
Disclaimer: Messrs Potter and Malfoy belong to JK Rowling. I’m just borrowing them for a bit. I don’t even pretend to have permission to abuse them so.
Summary: Harry’s home for the summer, and he’s bored shitless.
Author’s Note: This is meant to be a slight piss-take at IM-based fics. I was inspired by one I read that made my eyes hurt. I won’t “credit” the person who inspired me, because I would hate to embarrass her. This is obviously a non-magic AU, albeit one where some crazy bastard has decided to call his son “Draco,” as though it were perfectly normal. And Gods no, I do not use AOL.




Harry rubbed his eyes and glanced down at the time on his computer. He was sleepy, but not quite tired enough to call it a night, so he scanned the list of chatrooms one more time for one that sounded appealing. “This one seems good,” he said to his monitor, and clicked on the link for BOARDING SCHOOL M4M. There were 23 users in the room; surely one of them could keep Harry entertained for an hour or so.

He scrolled through the names of the users, randomly checking profiles. One name, in particular, caught his eye: IM_ A_MALFOY_DAMNIT. Harry chuckled and clicked the link.

Name: D. Malfoy
Age: 17
Sex: Male
Location: Wiltshire
Interests: Albino peacocks, money, sex, boys, sex with boys, and being a Malfoy. Damnit!

Harry clicked the link labelled “photos.” He wondered what kinds of pictures Draco Malfoy would have posted. Ah, yes, Harry knew Malfoy well. They were students at the same boarding school. He just never realised Malfoy’s three main interests were boys, sex, and sex with boys. This was quite the revelation indeed.

The only photo on Malfoy’s profile was one he’d obviously taken of himself, his head tilted up at an odd angle as his arm stretched out as far in front as possible. His trademark white-blond fringe hung sexily over his grey (yes, grey) eyes, and the famous Malfoy Smirk™ was working its magic on all who looked upon it. Including Harry. He considered wanking to the image, but decided it would be a waste of energy. Besides, he was sure he could lure Malfoy for some one-on-one chat, and that would be much better. But first, he needed to change some things.

****

Draco started when he heard the DING! from his speakers. He’d been sitting there for nearly ten minutes and this was the first IM he’d gotten! Weren’t any of the losers in this lame chatroom interested? He was, after all, a Malfoy. And Malfoys weren’t to be ignored! Especially not when they hadn’t been laid in days. But this definitely seemed promising.

****

[HOT_FOR_MALFOY]: hey sexy wanna chat?
[IM_A_MALFOY_DAMNIT]: hot for me eh?
[HOT_FOR_MALFOY]: u know it
[IM_A_MALFOY_DAMNIT]: blaise? that u m8?

****

“Zabini,” said Harry, to his teacup, wrinkling his brow. “What do you know?” The teacup had no idea, considering it was a teacup, and therefore not prone to knowing anything at all.

****

[HOT_FOR_MALFOY]: nope. just an admirer. but u do know me. :)
[IM_A_MALFOY_DAMNIT]: o rly? and who r u?
[HOT_FOR_MALFOY]: lets keep that a secret 4 now :P

****

Draco was intrigued. How could he not be? And as much as he wanted to know who his secret admirer was, he couldn’t bring himself to argue with anyone whose screen name was HOT_FOR_MALFOY. “That would be foolish, wouldn’t it?” he inquired of his discarded socks. The socks made no audible reply.

****

Harry waited for Malfoy’s answer, wondering if he’d frightened him off. The thought made him laugh; scare Malfoy? Malfoy was one of the meanest, most pompous jackasses in the entire school! It was only last week, on the last day before summer holidays, that he had nearly succeeded in knocking Harry down the stairs. That was why, aside from the sheer erotic gratification of it all, he decided to have little fun with the bastard.

****

Draco clicked the link to HOT_FOR_MALFOY’s profile. The only things listed were the boy’s age, sex, and interests. And the interests were, well, interesting: Draco Malfoy’s arse, my c*ck in Draco Malfoy’s arse, and wiping that smirk of Draco Malfoy’s pretty little face. Draco’s own “interest” grew. So did his ego, seeing his name so many times on one page. And he hadn’t had to write it himself!

****

[IM_A_MALFOY_DAMNIT]: ok for now :) what would u do 2 me if i were there?

****

Wow. Malfoy didn’t beat around the bush, did he? “Literally or figuratively,” Harry mentioned to his alarm clock, pleased at his own wit. The clock glowed green at him in response.

****

[HOT_FOR_MALFOY]: have 2 kiss u 1st 2 see what i've been missing. then i'd lick down 2 ur nipples . . .
[IM_A_MALFOY_DAMNIT]: :) keep going
[HOT_FOR_MALFOY]: u like that? my hot tongue licking all the way down 2 ur cock? should i put it in my mouth?
[IM_A_MALFOY_DAMNIT]: fuck yes. suck it (ur gonna make me cum:) )
[HOT_FOR_MALFOY]: (good) mm its so big i can hardly take it all, but i do. tastes so good draco!

****

Draco could almost feel his mystery man’s lips around his cock, his tongue sweeping up, around, and back down. He wanted so much to know who this was teasing him so! HOT_FOR_MALFOY was still typing, his words fucking Draco with every press of the ENTER key. Pulling furiously on his erection with one hand, he reached for a sock with the other. Hearing no protestation from the garment, Draco used it to wipe up the semen spurting over his fingers and onto his leg.

****

[IM_A_MALFOY_DAMNIT]: now that u made me all sticky r u gonna tell me who u r?
[HOT_FOR_MALFOY]: nope

****

Harry signed off without another word, plotting his next move. “Maybe this summer isn’t going to be so bullocks after all,” he said to the drops of come clinging to his hand. When they refused to answer, he licked them off.

((Continued.))