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seethingheathenI've been reading a lot more lately (I've only just now ventured into the postings at the Carnival), and it's gotten me to thinking about my own pet hates. This post was somewhat inspired by Bryoney's most recent post, but not really. It was more inspired about the thing she was posting about.
Also, I mean no offence to any authors on my flist who may do these things, as I do some of them as well (and cringe later). So, if you're offended, that wasn't my intention. I'm just rambling, and anyone who knows me knows that everything I say should be taken with a grain of salt. So, without further ado...
Sonja's List of Things She Doesn't Like.
- Referring to Scorpius as 'Scor' or 'Cory'. 'Scor' just doesn't sound right to me, and it seems unfinished. I like 'Scorp', because the hard p-sound at the end doesn't make me feel like I'm being cut off mid-word. I don't know if that makes any sense, but there you go. And though I love the name Cory, I just don't see a Malfoy willingly allowing himself to be called that. Scorpius, like Draco, more than likely likes his name. It's wizardly, and Cory is rather Muggle.
- Indented paragraphs. I know loads of people who indent their paragraphs, and they're brilliant writers. But my eyes go nucking futs when I'm reading a fic online and the paragraphs are indented. Books, okay; fics, not so much.
- Improper use of British slang. Yeah, I know, old rant is old, but when you're reading along and something that shouldn't be there is there, it's jarring. For some reason, 'wanking off' is on my shit list, because the 'off' isn't necessary. You can just call it wanking and be done, really. And not everything is 'bloody'.
- Having H/D subtext in an AS/S fic, just for the sake of it. The boys are getting it on, cool. That doesn't mean their fathers have to be secretly (or not-so-secretly) fucking. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
- Making James the bad guy. In the brief glimpse of Potter family dynamics we were given in the crapologue, we see James teasing the shit out of Albus. He's Al's older brother, so of course there is going to be teasing. It doesn't mean James is a raging douchebag.
- Fucked up homophones. Do I really need to elaborate on this?
- Whilst I do sometimes like fics wherein Albus and Scorpius are friends from Day One, it's becoming a bit overdone. It was fun at first, yeah, and I'm doing a little pot-kettle thing here, but this corner of fandom is too young to have so many clichés already. I'm kind of liking the Scorpius-is-Lily's-gay-BFF thing at the moment, though.
- Everyone Is Gay Syndrome. There are more heterosexuals in the world than there are homosexuals, so making half of Hogwarts queer is unrealistic. Just because so-and-so is gay, it doesn't mean everyone else in the dorm is as well. It doesn't mean that that couldn't happen, but it isn't very likely to happen. Hogwarts is not an all-LGBT school.
- SLYTHERINS ARE NOT ALL SEX-CRAZED BONDAGE LOVERS. How about some virginal Draco (or Pansy, or Scorpius, or any other Slytherin character)? I would think that of all the Houses, Slytherins (with their Pure-Bloodedness) would be the ones to hold more to traditions and traditional values. Homophobia aside, as unfortunately, heterosexuality is considered by some to be a so-called 'traditional value', but I'm not including it as such because I don't think it is. Homosexuality has been around as long as there have been sexual beings of any sort, and long before religion. But that's another rant for another day. Just give me my damned virgin boys.
- Jumping right into anal sex. A lot of gay men don't even have anal sex! It just strikes me as unrealistic to have two teenage boys butt-fucking each other from the start. I loves me some hot anal action, but it's unlikely (though not impossible, I know) that two sixteen-year-olds would start with penetration. I imagine at that age (again, I'm not saying this applies to everyone) that they're having a hard enough time with puberty and the frightening (in this society, unfortunately) revelation that they may just be gay to say 'Fuck me in the ass, please'. Build-up is key. Start small, work up to the bigger things, like Tab A into Slot B.
- MPreg. Just, no.
Wow. That went on longer than I thought. I just didn't want to make a list without explaining myself, so forgive my teal deer. Also, debate is welcomed. I know that not everyone likes what I like and will agree with everything I say. I'm not trying to change your opinions; I'm just expressing my own. Feel free to do so here as well.
Also, I mean no offence to any authors on my flist who may do these things, as I do some of them as well (and cringe later). So, if you're offended, that wasn't my intention. I'm just rambling, and anyone who knows me knows that everything I say should be taken with a grain of salt. So, without further ado...
Sonja's List of Things She Doesn't Like.
- Referring to Scorpius as 'Scor' or 'Cory'. 'Scor' just doesn't sound right to me, and it seems unfinished. I like 'Scorp', because the hard p-sound at the end doesn't make me feel like I'm being cut off mid-word. I don't know if that makes any sense, but there you go. And though I love the name Cory, I just don't see a Malfoy willingly allowing himself to be called that. Scorpius, like Draco, more than likely likes his name. It's wizardly, and Cory is rather Muggle.
- Indented paragraphs. I know loads of people who indent their paragraphs, and they're brilliant writers. But my eyes go nucking futs when I'm reading a fic online and the paragraphs are indented. Books, okay; fics, not so much.
- Improper use of British slang. Yeah, I know, old rant is old, but when you're reading along and something that shouldn't be there is there, it's jarring. For some reason, 'wanking off' is on my shit list, because the 'off' isn't necessary. You can just call it wanking and be done, really. And not everything is 'bloody'.
- Having H/D subtext in an AS/S fic, just for the sake of it. The boys are getting it on, cool. That doesn't mean their fathers have to be secretly (or not-so-secretly) fucking. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
- Making James the bad guy. In the brief glimpse of Potter family dynamics we were given in the crapologue, we see James teasing the shit out of Albus. He's Al's older brother, so of course there is going to be teasing. It doesn't mean James is a raging douchebag.
- Fucked up homophones. Do I really need to elaborate on this?
- Whilst I do sometimes like fics wherein Albus and Scorpius are friends from Day One, it's becoming a bit overdone. It was fun at first, yeah, and I'm doing a little pot-kettle thing here, but this corner of fandom is too young to have so many clichés already. I'm kind of liking the Scorpius-is-Lily's-gay-BFF thing at the moment, though.
- Everyone Is Gay Syndrome. There are more heterosexuals in the world than there are homosexuals, so making half of Hogwarts queer is unrealistic. Just because so-and-so is gay, it doesn't mean everyone else in the dorm is as well. It doesn't mean that that couldn't happen, but it isn't very likely to happen. Hogwarts is not an all-LGBT school.
- SLYTHERINS ARE NOT ALL SEX-CRAZED BONDAGE LOVERS. How about some virginal Draco (or Pansy, or Scorpius, or any other Slytherin character)? I would think that of all the Houses, Slytherins (with their Pure-Bloodedness) would be the ones to hold more to traditions and traditional values. Homophobia aside, as unfortunately, heterosexuality is considered by some to be a so-called 'traditional value', but I'm not including it as such because I don't think it is. Homosexuality has been around as long as there have been sexual beings of any sort, and long before religion. But that's another rant for another day. Just give me my damned virgin boys.
- Jumping right into anal sex. A lot of gay men don't even have anal sex! It just strikes me as unrealistic to have two teenage boys butt-fucking each other from the start. I loves me some hot anal action, but it's unlikely (though not impossible, I know) that two sixteen-year-olds would start with penetration. I imagine at that age (again, I'm not saying this applies to everyone) that they're having a hard enough time with puberty and the frightening (in this society, unfortunately) revelation that they may just be gay to say 'Fuck me in the ass, please'. Build-up is key. Start small, work up to the bigger things, like Tab A into Slot B.
- MPreg. Just, no.
Wow. That went on longer than I thought. I just didn't want to make a list without explaining myself, so forgive my teal deer. Also, debate is welcomed. I know that not everyone likes what I like and will agree with everything I say. I'm not trying to change your opinions; I'm just expressing my own. Feel free to do so here as well.
