WAT.

[seethingheathen]

I must seriously have a neon sign over my head that says I'M A PERV!! because I get the weirdest shit from people. I was going to post this to customers_suck, but I thought you lot would like it more.

Yesterday, a man came into my shop wearing a badge. I didn't take the time to read the badge, and I'm not all up on the different sorts of badges American law enforcement wear, so I assumed he was a cop. Anyway, the transaction went normally and he left. He came back today, and this happened.

Dude: I'm back for the *mumble*.
Me: What? (Not what I normally say, as it is rather uncouth, but I was busy and annoyed by something else.)
Dude: *laughs* She says, 'what?' I'm back for the spanking!
Me: [thinking: And this guy's a cop? Wow.] That's not what I thought you'd said. I thought you had said 'the Spike thing', since we carry Spike (energy drink).
Dude: No, I want to be spanked.
Me: ...
Dude: I have handcuffs!
Me: I'm sure those come in handy. [What the hell else could I say, really?] Where were you ten minutes ago when I had a gang of unruly teenagers in here? *laughs*
Dude: In my office! I work for the bail bondsman down the street. I'm a bounty hunter!
Me: I see.
Dude: What else would I be with a gun and handcuffs?
Me: [thinking: I don't know, a real cop?] Well...
Dude: And a bald head and a nice tongue?
Me: ...

And then he left. Seriously? If he'd been a cop, I'd have gotten his badge number and reported his sorry arse. Unless he'd been hot, lol. As it was, I just laughed myself stupid without even waiting for him to be out of earshot.