seethingheathen | Walker Legacy, Generation 1.2: Shooflee, or Not Shooflee?

WARNING: Contains adult language and censored nudity.

Derek's in love with delicious, melty cheese. Alice is on the verge of packing her bags. Can they get it together long enough to have a kid or two, or should Derek flog his goods elsewhere?

Dial-up users, please note that there are thirty-seven images behind the cut.

1.0 | 1.1

We start this chapter with a chance card. Normally, I ignore these things, but that wouldn't be very sporting of me to do in a legacy.

I went with 'Sonar Expert' because I know fuck-all about Deep Sea Excavation, and that seemed like a smart choice.

Like I said, fuck-all. Sorry, Derek. Next time.

Wow, two in a row! As soon as Derek's chance card went away, up came Alice's.

Subpoena that bitch. She knows more than she's letting on! And I can't fail twice in a row, can I?

Yes. Yes, I can. Whoopsie.

Derek: Stand back, everyone. I think I see some white powder.

His education paid off! The promotions are rolling in. One of these days, Derek will be a Space Pirate.

Dr Livingstone, I presume.

Derek's hand is getting really crampy, so he took Alice out bowling in hopes that it would put her in the mood. As soon as they arrived, they started flirting in the carpark, so it must have worked. They flirted and kissed for a couple of hours before finally going inside. If I had known it would be this easy, I would have just built an empty carpark and left them to it.

Alice: Hah! And everyone said smearing cheese sauce on my tits was a bad idea!

Derek: If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Alice is so desperate for a shag that she's letting that one slide.

Mrs Crumplebottom's just having a stroke in the corner. Don't mind her.

This is Daphne. We'll be seeing her later, oh yes. Do you think I'm letting genes like that get away?

Poor Derek didn't earn any tips, but Alice got §300. It must have been the sexy guitar face she was making. Or the cleavage. Yeah, probably the cleavage.

Mrs Crumplebottom will end you.

ABOUT. FUCKING. TIME.

Apparently, the woo-hoo has lifted Alice's spirits, because she finally got a promotion. I mistakenly said in the last post that she was a Legal Secretary, when she was a Paralegal.

Alice: I don't want to be an attorney! I want to be a journalist!

In this economy, you're lucky to have a job at all. Now shut up and go make some damned babies before I set Mrs C on you. She'll cut a bitch.

Kaching!

What the fuck, Derek? You're not supposed to dream about Amin Sims after you bang your girlfriend. It's poor form.

Totally unrelated to anything, but I love how the landlord's idea of a weekend get-together is a pizza on the pavement. I'm almost sorry I wasn't invited.

Also totally unrelated, but I like how they're all dressed alike. The PlantSim is from one of my sub-hoods, and the neighbour is an NPC.

Sorry. Back to your regularly scheduled programme.

Alice wakes up in the middle of the night to do weird things, like eat green pizza. Off the pavement. After a rainstorm.

Five hours on the exercise bike is enough to make anyone puke. Is it food poisoning, or did the stick finally turn blue?

Poor form, Derek.

Or not.

Alice: I don't remember these jeans being so tight.

Well, now we know it wasn't food poisoning.

Derek decided that today was a good day for a pirate convention, but Alice wasn't really in the mood to entertain, so I put the kibosh on that.

Speaking of Alice, it looks like she's slowly coming round to the Dork Side.

Derek is rather pleased that I'm squicked by MPreg so he didn't have to be the one to go through this.

Obligatory lack-of-wedding shot. Neither one rolled the Wedding Party want, so I took advantage and got them married before the baby was born with Alice's surname.

Derek: I love grilled cheese.

Why don't you marry it?

Derek: I can do that?

Nope.

Derek: *long-suffering sigh* Some day, my love. Be patient.

What do starving, pregnant Sims do at 3:00 am?

Cook and eat two lobsters, of course.

I forced her to repaint Derek's portrait, since I accidentally sold the other one. Okay, more like accidentally-on-purpose, but whatever. That thing was terrible.