You Yanks will be the death of me.

There's a woman at my job, she must be in her 50s, and she calls herself Paris. She's thin, bleach-blonde, and does not dress her age. Which is cool- you're only as young as you feel. Last week, when we started our technical training, we did the intro thing, and while it struck me as odd that her parents would have called her Paris, I didn't really give it much thought.

Tuesday, when we were waiting to clear security, I heard her give her name as Kathleen. I supressed a laugh, because at that point, I realised she was a bit off her nut.

That brings us to today, when in an effort to further get to know our classmates, we did a "What's Your Favourite Animal" exercise. We had to write these down on a scrap of paper, as well as two characteristics of said animal, and pass them left, so that the other person could read them aloud to the class. Most people, predictably, said things like lions, bears, jaguars, etc.

Not Paris.

Hers was a Teacup Poodle. Apparently she owns one, and she was referring to her pet. She gave two characteristics of the dog as being "loyal" and "loves boo-boo rides." Again, this woman is in her 50s, and looks like an aged version of Paris Hilton. You can imagine the reaction of the class. No one wanted to know what the fuck a "boo-boo ride" was.

If she gets to be Paris, I get to be Malfoy.

MST: Sit Down, Shut The Fuck Up, And Die. Bitch: Part One.

A few years ago, I got my kicks from destroying Mary Sues in Middle Earth, using the ever-clever alter-ego of sugarylime. Well, I'm back with a vengeance to rid Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry of the same infestation.

( Sit Down, Shut The Fuck Up, And Die. Bitch: Part One. )

From violettefemme. Yesh.

( Too big for muh layout! )